Recommended Practice: Fallacies of Language Handout #1

Indicate the fallacy of language committed by each italicized and red passage: 

  1. We should play basketball; since it's faster.  
  2. Well, I say football is outrageous fun.  So, we should play that. 
  3. I didn't cheat during the baseball game; for I just fudged on the rules.  
  4. I saw you play soccer; and you were out of this world.  So, of course you cheated. 
  5. Yeah, he played well, because he may have scored more points than anyone else. 
  6. Fan #1: I’m telling you, Jason went to this year’s Super Bowl.   
    Fan #2: Are you sure?
    Fan #1: Yeah.  He told me he was going to a sporting event. 
  7. Fan #1: I think Jason went to this year’s Super Bowl. 
    Fan #2: Are you sure?
    Fan #1: He told me he might get to go there. 
  8. Fan #1: You should go to the Super Bowl with Jason. 
    Fan #2: I don’t think so.
    Fan #1: Really, you should go.  It’ll be better this time. 
    Fan #2: Better than what?
  9. Fan #1: You should go to this year’s Super Bowl with Jason.  
    Fan #2: I don’t think so. 
    Fan #1: Really, you should go.  It’ll be a superfantastilistic time!
    Fan #2: Uh, okay, whatever that means. 
  10. Fan #1: We shouldn’t go to this year’s Super Bowl.  
    Fan #2: I don’t see a problem.
    Fan #1: I do.  It costs too much. 
    Fan #2: Oh, come on, let’s go.  It’s not too expensive.  It’s just a little extra expensive.
    Fan #1: A little extra expense? 
  11. You should study.  There could be a test next week.
  12. You should study.  Our first test will be harder.
  13. Teacher: You should study before completing our first homework assignment.  If you don’t, your life will never be the same.
    Student: What does that mean?
  14. Student: Jake didn’t do anything wrong.  He said he just took a test.
    Teacher: What do you mean he “took” it? 
  15. Dean: The student says you wouldn’t answer her question.
    Teacher: Of course I did.  I told her she got a B on the test.
    Dean: But she asked if she got the first question right.
  16. Dean: The student says you wouldn’t answer her question.
    Teacher:     Of course I did.  I told her she just struggled.
    Dean: But she asked if she failed the class.
  17. Dean: The student says you wouldn’t answer her question.
    Teacher:     Of course I did.  I told her she did impressively.
    Dean: But she asked if she got a C in the class.
  18. Dean: The student says you wouldn’t answer her question.
    Teacher: Of course I did.  I told her the paper was clearer.
    Dean: But she asked if she needed to rewrite it.
  19. Dean: The student says you wouldn’t answer her question.
    Teacher:     Of course I did.  I told her there could be an assignment.
    Dean: But she asked if there was going to be a test.
  20. Teacher: You didn’t answer my question.
    Dean: Of course I did.  I said some employees have been dislocated.
    Teacher: But I don’t know what that means; and I asked if I was fired.
  21. I don't think we should let Julie take care of our dog; for I've seen her give a dog a bath wearing a hot pink shirt. 
  22. Oh, Chuck doesn't lie.  He just spins the truth a lot.  So I think it's okay to let him move into our apartment. 
  23. I'm pretty sure Heather moved to Eugene, since she said moved to Oregon. 
  24. I don't think we should hire Jason.  After all, I'm telling you, he might be lazy. 
  25. I'm telling you, Kathy isn't lazy.  She just takes her time.  So I say we should hire her.   
  26. Parent: I’m sorry.  I think you lied to me.
    Child: No I didn’t.
    Parent: Yes you did.  You told me you’d look for a job today.
    Child:  I did not lie.  I just said I’d try to look for a job today.
  27. Sister: I don’t think you should celebrate your new job yet.
    Brother: I’m telling you I got it.  The interviewer told me they would hire someone by tomorrow.
    Sister: Well, you are someone; but so is everyone else who interviewed.
  28. Employer: Why do you think your job is unfair?
    Employee: Why?  Because it’s a Sisyphus-like task. 
    Employer: You get paid $50 a day; and all you have to do is carry the team’s equipment onto the field.  How long does it take? 
    Employee: Oh, 20 minutes.  What’s your point?
    Employer: Well, Sisyphus is the legend about the man who is condemned to pushing a rock up a hill forever.
    Employee: What’s your point?
  29. Sister: I’m telling you, your company is going to fire people today.
    Brother: No they’re not.  They just said they’ll be adjusting personnel.
    Sister: And what does that mean?
  30. Roommate #1: I’m telling you, it’s time to tell Mohandas he has to move out of our apartment.  Think about it.  He acts like a dog in heat.  He flatulates more often than he breathes, and they’re always as loud as an atomic bomb exploding.  I think the last time he bathed George Washington was President of theUnited States.  When you’re not around he always acts like he’s smarter.  And he might be stealing from me.
    Roommate #2: Uh, I don’t know how to respond.  You’re talking about Mohandas Gandhi?  Are you serious? 
  31. Candidate: Why shouldn’t you vote for my opponent?  To put it simply, his policies just don’t smell right.  
  32. Candidate: I didn’t say I would raise your taxes.  For I just said I might have to consider revenue generation adjustments.
  33. Commentator: Senator, why do you want to be President?  
    Candidate: I love politics.  I love helping people. 
    Commenter: But why the Presidency?
  34. Friend #1: “So why should I vote for Senator Gonzalez?”
    Friend #2: “Because it’s your duty as a citizen to vote.”
    Friend #1: “Okay, I accept that I should vote.  By why should I vote for this specific candidate?” 
  35. You shouldn’t vote for Senator Gonzalez.  I heard he could raise taxes.
  36. Vote for a better future!  Gonzalez in 2008.
  37. Don’t re-elect the President.  You may regret it.
  38. Candidate: Why should you vote for me?  Because a vote for my opponent is a vote for the terrorists.
  39. Candidate: Why should you vote for me?  Because if I’m the President I won’t torture anyone.  My administration will use only enhanced interrogation techniques.
  40. When Barry Goldwater ran for president, his campaign slogan was, "In your heart, you know he's right." 
  41. Frank: You shouldn't date Frank.  After his last relationship ended, he actually pressed a suit in court.
    Tracy: Well, he is a lawyer.  So, depending upon what you mean by "press," there's nothing extraordinary about that. 
  42. Tracy: I wouldn't date Frank if I was you, because he might be married.
    John: Well, is he?   
  43. John: You should date Dexter, since he's nicer.
    Tracy: Than? 
  44. Doug: We can’t break up now; for I’ll die.
    Darlene: Meaning?
    Doug: You know what I mean.
    Darlene: No I don’t.
  45. Eddie: Are you breaking up with me? 
    Earl: I would never do that; for you mean the world to me.
    Eddie: What does that mean? 
  46. Juan: So you broke up with Annie?
    Ted: I’m not saying that; for I just said we should suspend things.  
    Juan: So can I ask her out? 
  47. Juan: We should get married. 
    Annie: I don’t think we’re ready.
    Juan: Of course we are.  We’re fabulous together.
  48. Levy: We should get married.
    Leslie: I don’t think so.
    Levy: You think we’re not mature enough. 
    Leslie: I think we each have room to grow; so we shouldn’t get married.
    Levy: Room to grow? 
  49. Kay: You should try dating a woman next.
    George: I don’t think so.
    Kay: Why not?  You said you dated women too. 
    George:  I did not.
    Kay: You did too.
    George: I know I didn’t, ‘cause I just said I’ve seen a woman.
    Kay: So what does that mean? 
  50. Camille: I just think it’s good to date more than one man at a time.
    Jean: Really?  Why’s that? 
    Camille: Life’s all about making the most of your choices.
    Jean: The most of them?
    Camille: You don’t think so?
    Jean: I don’t know what that means.