Description:

Empathy:

em·pa·thy definition
noun: empathy
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
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What is Empathy?

1) identify with other people's feelings ~ask yourself how do they feel?

2) put yourself in their shoes ~ ask yourself how would I feel?

3) respond and show your understanding - ask yourself What can I do?

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Why would empathy matter in conflict resolution?

The Ability to see the other person’s perspective can help in resolving conflict

Defining the terms:

Conflict: serious disagreement or argument; typically a protracted one

Conflict resolution: active communication to solve a conflict within group; to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement

Passive: accepting or allowing what others do without active resistance or response

Assertive: Standing up for yourself; having or showing a confident or forceful personality;

Aggressive: getting really worked up; showing anger; ready or likely to attack or confront someone; bullying or being pushy

In a conflict you often don’t get what you wanted because you:

don't stay calm

or

you lose sight of the outcome you wanted…

Conflict Resolution Strategy - Another Acronym:

S O Q U I C (Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions)

S – stay calm: breathe, count, relax, think of a peaceful place,

use reminders statements like:

“It’s no big deal” “It’s not worth it”

“I can handle it” “Getting mad won’t help”

O – outcome: what outcome do I want?

Q – question: question to clarify

U – understand: their point of view

I – “I” statement: say how I feel

C – compromise

There are three types of communication style we will discuss today. While we all have preferences or styles that we use more often, there are different times that different styles may be appropriate.

The three styles we will discuss today are:

Passive

Aggressive

Assertive

Passive- with this style of communication you may be perceived as the following:

Not confident
Lower self-esteem
May get taken advantage of
May get frustrated if ideas aren’t heard
May become a victim
Sometimes tries to fit in and will do unhealthy stuff or be pressured into doing things they don’t want to do-alcohol, drugs, sex…

Aggressive - with this style of communication you may be perceived as the following:

Angry, intimidating
Hurtful
Accusing
Name caller
Complainer
Revengeful

Other consequences of an aggressive style are:

possibly gets you in trouble-suspended at school, in trouble with the law, in trouble with parents, it can get you hurt,

You don’t learn to problem-solve (“when I’m mad, I need to hurt somebody to fix it”)

Aggressive behavior is a relationship buster!

who wants to be around someone who is blaming, controlling, always has to be right, my way or no way…

Remember in a conflict you often don’t get what you wanted because you lose sight of

the outcome you wanted

Assertiveness helps you ask for what you want

What to gain:

Understanding your communication style and patterns can help you understand any communication barriers you may experience. Also knowing which style works best in which situation will help you get better outcomes.

Upcoming activities:

Be aware of the different communication styles and consequences in the Homework for conflict resolution.